To be honest, I haven’t been a My Chemical Romance fan for long, a little over a few months to be exact.  I had friends growing up who were obsessed over them when we were in 6th grade.  I never understood it, but back than I was a perfect little girl completely naive to the world. I had always heard their main stream things, such as Helena or Welcome To The Black Parade and I enjoyed those songs but I had never felt the need to actually listen to their music. My friends even tried so hard to shove their music down my throat and I never understood why nor did I EVER think a few years later their music would completely consume my life and I would finally understant why my friends wanted me to listen to them so badly.

A few months ago, I was going through a really rough time battling depression and the want to kill myself.  I had always had problems with depression but I hit an all time low, my medications weren’t working anymore and I didn’t think it was normal to be that depressed.  The only thing I was thinking about was killing myself, I would dream about it, come up with so many different ways, between lighting my house on fire or drowning myself in my pool.  I was to the point where I couldn’t even drive anymore because the only thing I could think about when driving was running a red light and causing an accident or unbuckling my seat belt and letting go of the wheel while I’m driving down a back road at 75 miles an hour.  It was a time in my life where I had no idea what was going to happen to me, I was sure I was going to die, it was only a matter of time.  

I had no friends, I hated my family, I had completely lost hope in humanity and everything was just a complete utter mess in my life.  I couldn’t even look in the mirror without feeling absolutely disgusted, I wanted to throw up whenever I saw my face.  I felt like a monster.  I didn’t feel normal.  I was afraid of myself and I thought there was something really wrong with me.

At that time, I had been active on tumblr, I was a pretty big Panic! at the Disco fan and was spending most of my time focusing on their music, talking about them and following other fan’s who liked them.  Apparently some of those Panic! fan’s had also been MCR fans that posted things up about them.  Tumblr was where I first came across this gif that I’m sure the majority of you have seen,

It was inspiring to me, it was the first time I was like “wow, these guys seem pretty cool.”  That wasn’t the moment though that I started to like them but I did start to listen to their newer songs like ‘Na Na Na’ and ‘Sing.’  I guess you could say I was slowly starting to see what an amazing band they were.  

I started to follow more MCR fans on tumblr after that.  A few days later I saw someone post up a video from youtube.  It was entittled “My Chemical Romance - Gerard Way’s Inspiration Quotes.”  I don’t even know why I clicked it, curiousty maybe?  I don’t know, but the fact of the matter is that I did and I cried a lot during that seven minute video.  

That video had such an impact on me that I decided to really give their music a chance, not knowing I was about to fall completely in love with it.  I ended up on the computer till’ 4 in the morning listening all their music and then the next day I ended up getting in my car and driving for 20 minutes into town so I could get their CD’s. I wasn’t afraid of myself when I was driving that time.  I didn’t have thoughts about doing something stupid, doing something dangerious, trying to hurt myself.  I think that’s because for once in my life I didn’t feel alone anymore, I felt like someone understood, someone cared.  

I think that video was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my entire life and they inspire me every day to be a better person, to be happy, to be accepting and to enjoy every minute like its my last. My Chemical Romance took me in with open arms, they were the first people to ever accept me as I am.  This is my family, this is my life and they are my hero’s. 

I had completely lost hope in humanity before them and today, because of them, I am reminded that the world is worth living in, that everything is going to be okay and not everyone in this world is heartless.

I will never be able to express my gratitude enough, I will never be able to show them how much they mean to me, they fixed me, they made me realize what an amazing person I am and they reminded me that’s it okay to be messed up.

And I thank god every day that they found me.
The video that saved my life;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8ODZm6WfTo

I still cry every time I watch it.